No I Can`t. Yes I Can...

3 more weeks to go before i leave Japan for good. Already the madness has started!! That is the eating and shopping one ;) Looks like i will be having a few more SAyonara Parties to attend. I feel a little bitter sweet about leaving here, truly.

My church friends organized a wonderful baby shower for us on the 29th of june and the organizer told me that it had been one of their largest and most successful one. Seeing my friends come to celebrate our joy (even if our baby hasn`t been born)truly was touching for D and me. We played games had tea and snacks and even had an
opening present ceremony. All in true American style, that`s what they told us. Thank you Junko and Kyoko and all the lovely presents that we have received.

Just in 3 years how we have come to know these people as extensions of our family, i could not help but tear a little when i said thank you to all of them. I cannot imagine how i would be able to hold my emotions when i say my farewell speech in church in the near future. It has been so wonderful how people from all over the world (America, UK, Japan, Asia even Africa) have been congregating in a church like this and how homely the atmosphere has been. I can only pray that the Lord will lead us to a church in Singapore that will be as rooted and friendly as MCC.


















EAting at Pam`s place
Oishi Veg Curry made by Pam`s husband , Seamus

San, Cat, Vicky and Karen
Pamela, Moi, Fanny and Lulu
Happiness is an overflowing of friendship and belly food ;p
I am also going to miss my Singapore Pals over in Japan. I have met mothers that inspire me and made friends that i have had many a good meal with (San and gang!) Let`s meet up when you are in sing! And thanks Pamela for having us over for lunch ;)

Think i really have to start packing and sorting out stuff. We are going to sort into 5 different sections.

Things to give, things to sell, things going to mom`s place and things to store. Oh and things to throw. I must really start packing!!!!!


I have to stop buying things too. Had a good talk with David yesterday and i do agree with the rising cost of everything and our new baby. We or rather i have to be more thrifty. For the future.

Shall miss Japan but looking forward to returning home to my homeland filled with humidity and people that i love.


"Trust in Him with all my Heart and soul."

* Baby update- He is 27 weeks now. Aiyo can kick like Ninjia and sometimes punch too..hee hee.. Blessed belly ;p The greatest news i heard last week is: My closest Coz is going to have a baby too, 2 months younger!!! Baby`s kicking as i type this..ahha.How wonderful and blessed we are!! Praise God*

** Eye update- The stye is not a stye but a Chalazion. Meaning small lump in Greek. It refers to a swelling in the eyelid caused by inflamation of 1 small oil producing glands located in the upper and lower eyelids.
The eye specialist told me to just placed warm compresses 2 times a day, 5 mins each and to put the ointment that she gave me.

It`s been almost 1 and a half months now since i got it. Sighz! Please pray that God will heal it! It is getting smaller and she told me it will heal in a few weeks.

"Faith! I can move a moutain, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"

Things that go bump in the day and nite

As your tummy gets bigger your sense of balance, wit and humor seems to lose a little perspective. It does not help that i am usually already horizontally prone haha. Err am i making sense? Someone called this the "blame the belly" syndrome and many prenatal books say that it is rather normal for one to lose their balance and memory even after birth....hmmm. Well hopefully this is just short term for me ;P

Well i have finally gotten around to packing. Well sort of. I realize i still have tons of winter/spring wear to wash and have divided into piles the clothes in the store room. I found myself looking at a pair of pants and wondering if i would ever fit into them again..haha i know I must be positive .

Gotten around to saying "Goodbyes" as well. Someone mentioned that our church in japan is like a revolving door. Someone is always coming and going and i think one of the things i would miss most is my church over here. In many ways i have come to think of it as an extension of home. There are so many role models that D and myself hope to grow into. Men and Women who love God, those who are wise, good mentors and loving Christians. Shall miss them all.

We had to say good bye to a friend who had been coming to Musashino Chapel for 13 years. She is going back to UK or rather has gone back this week. I had a good lunch with her the other day and she told me, she too was going to miss the pace of life over here. Yet she is excited to see what God has planned for her over in UK. Anita we shall miss you!

Grace our little student friend from Church will be going back to states soon too. Her mum is staying with her now and we had a great time with some other students last friday, err attempting to sing. She is one of the exchanged students i have come to know and love over here in japan. Her life is inspiring, she is wise beyond her age and yet there is such humbleness to the greatness. I believe she will go one to great things.





"@Plates (Hiroo) with Grace ;) , Roast chicken was so yummy."

As i go into my 26th Week i can`t help but get excited. With each kick and punch i start to imagine how this little dear will look like? What would his character be like? We pray he would be like Noah- Obedient to God, Wise, Righteous yet Peaceful, Loving and Creative :) No matter we will love him :)

Will Baby look like me?































































Or like David above with posing in black and white before his "2nd chance debut" and being a cheeky boy on his bike ;P


"Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
Praise the Lord with the harp;
make music to him on the 10 stringed lyre.
Sing to Him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.

For the word of the Lord is right and true;
He is faithful in all he does,
The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

By the word of the Lord were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
He gathers the waters of the sea into jars,
he puts the deep into storehouses." ~ Psalm 33: 1-7


What a beautiful Psalm, We wait with joy and anticipation oh Lord for our blessing ;)

Back from The Sea and this Week of Praise

yummy sushi
White beach breakfast area
Beach in front of Hotel
What a Weekend!

The drive to Izu was about 4hours but it was worth it to soak my feet into the cool waters and pearly white sand. Our friends invited us to the opening of their chic little hotel by the sea. The original hotel was built in the 1970`s, reminisce of the old corridor and doors to the room kinda make for the retro place ;) I have more picture of the lovely BBQ dinner of steak, seafoood and greens and the room but have to upload later on sorry..hehee

Before our drive we had gone to see the Dr S and he told me and David that we are going to have a baby boy.;) Hee hee i even saw his little thingy..hahah. Our baby is doing so well and growing well, God be to Glory and i am already praying for a smooth labor.

This week we had Francis and Jocelyn here with us. We played "Taboo" 1 of the nights and i laughed till my belly hurt ;) Its wonderful to get to know them better and to see D look so happy playing ,play station with his brother. And me cooking with Jocelyn proved to be lots of fun for the both of us ;)


Was God amazing that HE kept them safe from the Akihabara Killings. A man had killed 7 people randomly at a cross junction near the shopping centre that Francis and Jocelyn were at. God is so good truly.

They prayed for us before they left and i realy think we are going to grow even closer in singapore ;) Its wondreful to have another brother and sister.
my chicken stew
Jocelyn`s fried egg
dinner time
tonkatsu and fried fish and ika
my bro n sis in law and christ
Praise the Lord too for my mum`s health, the results were negative but the doctor said that the larger lump would have become cancerous if it was left on my mum. Once again God has proven to my mum that HE is real and i just know that she is so close to believing. It seems her new company is doing alright and i hope it keeps her happy and that her health would get better.

She and my sister just knew that we would be having a boy ahah so no surprise there ;)

My dad must be happy too, when I called him he thought i had given birth (just like him;p) I hope this time when we get back to sing i will be able to have a "real" relationship with him. I believe i had made some bad choices such as not inviting him to my baptism and not giving him a present at my wedding ( all you people getting married , honor your parents at your wedding , you only have one set you know).

May the Lord give me strength and wisdom to talk to him.

Speaking of Fathers. My D- the best Father to be, received his 1st Daddy`s Day gift from moi. I gave him a starbucks tumble with my own art--err i will up load the pic of it next time. I truly believe that God will guide David to be a wonderful parent and that we will go through all things together (meaning even the painful labor)

Happy Belated Father`s Day to all Father`s and Father`s to be ;)



" Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind."~ Genesis 9:15

You are the Sty in my Eye

Blahhhh are you grossed out yet??? This monstrous growth has been invading my eyelid for 1 and a half weeks already.

Yes i have seen the doctor and he gave me some eye drops but *sigh* it looks more like a cluster of pimples. Think i will go see him again tomorrow.

The humbling thing about have a sty is you do not have to worry about eye makeup (in this city of eye liners and fake eyelashes) and you kinda feel liberated wearing glasses and relaxing your eyes.

Today was the last day of my BSF (bible study fellowship) in japan. I felt rather zannen (melancholy??) I remembered coming to my 1st lesson a little skeptical about the theology part and the daily homework. What i have learnt from the lessons, leaders and fellow ladies have been both humbling and eye opening (no pun intended).

Some of this ladies only have English as their 2nd language and do their homework with bilingual bibles and dictionaries. Today was sharing day and i heard of testimonials that made my eyes fill up with tears.

There was this little petite old lady, Irene that really stood out. She is about Mama`s age, 80 plus and has just started Bsf this year. She was originally from Malaysia and has been married to her japanese husband for many years. She told us that she had nearly gone blind this year and for 3 months she had experience total darkness. Yet she strive on praying , refusing to be gloomy and meditated on the word of God and Hymns. She said now she treasures every day she has and wants to share the Word with her loved ones, especially her grandkids.

This lady is so filled with joy as she said all these and i wondered if i would have the same faith and grace when i am her age :) So often we are so clouded by the endless lists of things that we have/want to do and we really seldom have time to reflect. How blessed i have been to be able to have this 3 years in japan.

There are many times where i wished even dreamt of Singapore, but the strength and wisdom of the many ladies i have met in this bible study will stay with me forever. I really do hope i have a chance to carry on my classes in Singapore. I think they are still doing the book of "Matthew" and will be doing "Moses" next year. God willing. :)

My swimming lessons are going really well too. It really is tougher than i thought. We do butterfly and free style. We even kicked with fins (which i totally enjoyed, felt like a dolphin with a big tummy.)It truly is amazing to see pregnant women in their 30 over weeks with their huge tummy swimming so gracefully. Hopefully i can keep swimming up to term.

I am still amazed at how some of the japanese ladies managed to be 8months and look like they just have a watermelon under their swim suit..haha. It`s difficult to ask too when your japanese is so broken and half the time you are staring at them wondering if your words are coherent or not..haha

Oh well i look forward to my last 2 months in japan and going back to my sunny, happy island. Tons of washing and packing to do. God help me!!

Baby says "kick , kick, punch, punch--hello and see you!!"- so Cute wish i could see the doctor earlier. Have to wait till the 14th to see him.

Tomorrow my mom gets her biopsy results, i am praying that it will be negative and that she will be really and willing to start every thing a new.


"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!"-Matthew 6:22

~May my eyes always look towards you, Oh Lord and may i say each day "It is Well with my Soul".
^^21weeks

The Longest Day of My Life

"Dear Baby In My Belly,

Sorry if Mummy had overdose you with caffeine today ;P

I really could not sleep well last night. Well you know Grandma has, had other operations before but every time it still worries me a little.

Your Grandma, she is so strong and would always make it sound so simple (She was clearing her cupboards when i called her last night). But i know it is her way of distressing.

I feel so blessed that we have family (Grand-god ma and aunty Faye) to help us, cos your Yiyi is not feeling well and cannot cook so well too.

I prayed a lot this morning well you were still sleeping, i actually tried to poke my tummy a little just to wake you to have some company..sorry baby..hee hee. But God really comforted me by showing me the verses " And I am surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20

I really tried to repeat that verse while trying to get your yiyi on the phone just now. I couldn`t seem to get her in the morning or afternoon.

Decided to meet Daddy and aunt Vicky for lunch. Then i went to have coffee with aunt Vicky and may have bore her with all my anxious talk. Still it was nice to have someone to be with.

As we climbed up the hill, it was really nice to feel you moving inside me. Mummy can`t wait to hold you and tell you how much i love you, just as Grandma loves me. And that reminded me of how God has blessed us with you and how HE too will watch over Grandma.

So finally i spoke to Yiyi and Grandma just now. Grandma told me she is started to feel some pain but i know she is very happy that people care for her and that she has finally removed this lumps. We must pray that she will heal well and that the lumps will not have cancer in them.

Yiyi still has fever and a cold, so she too needs our prayers ;) Yiyi needs to relax more and be a beautiful bride in December. I pray that you will be an angel and we can bring you there and not seat at the corner near the exit.haha..i know you will be a good baby. ;)

Okay better go prepare for bible study class and dinner for Daddy. Let`s make char siew today!! Hopefully Daddy will not be home too late.

We love you our little sweetie pie. And God too.

Love,Kisses and Hugs, Mummy Be"


* Dear Friends,
Thanks for praying for my mum, she is now resting at home and will get her results next Thursday ,29th of March. We pray that God will heal her completely and that she will have a good time of reflection this week. May the results be malignant and God `s power be shown to her. Once again thank you for praying with us :) Love Phoebe*


Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yojke is easy and my burden is light."

"Eloi,Eloi, lama sabachthani?"

"Eloi,Eloi, lama sabachthani?"- Which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Mark 15:33-34

We look at the world today and wonder is it a good time to have children? This world where the climate is changing, animals are going extinct, natural disasters are rampant and people are lost.

Looking at the images of China`s earthquake and Myanmar`s situation, i do ask myself, "What if i was that mother that had just seen her dead child?"or "What if i could not even give milk to my baby?" How blessed are we to be clothed in comfort, to have more than enough food. To even be able to enjoy my swimming class today.

Every morning i asked that God will make this day a better day , that the stressed would be taken away for D. And Little Peanut and me will be safe and healthy. I should also start praying for the people in China and Myanmar too, well that`s the least i could do.

I read that Singaporeans are donating to the Red Cross and other org. as well. I do hope that the Myanmar government will allow the aid to go through.

I went to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) on Wed. The speaker spoke to me she said "What do you think of the world now and all the things that are happening around it? Do you live in fear and sadness or are you joyful for the Life that is given to you by Jesus? Remembering that God is in control does help. Having a close relationship with Him daily does help."

Placing my faith in what i believe and knowing that God is in control helps me feel that whatever may come, be it being a parent or for the future. I can trust in Him. I can trust Him to give me the wisdom to share with my child the joys of the world and the sorrows too. One step at a time ;)

My mom will be going for a biopsy next Thursday, 22nd May. Do pray for her too. Thank you.


"We can rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5: 2-5



*For the Children of Quake & Fear :

Am i my Father`s child,
if i`m alone in this suffering?
No bed to rest my head,
no place for a bed.

Am i still wanted,
If i am wandering lost?
No home to call my own,
my friends have left me alone.

Do you still hear me as i cry for shelter?
For someone, anyone
to hold me,
be my comforter?

Can i trust? Have faith?
Would i see the light
through this darkness,
i long so for your embrace.

Fill me, My Father,
lost as i, fearful as i.
I wait for your deliverance and grace.
I wait with faith, little less than a mustard,
yet ever so may it grow to be of abundance.

~Phoebe, 16th May 2008, for the children in china and myanmar. Do pray with me for them~

Is it a boy? Is it a girl?

We really dont know??? I am so very excited about tomorrow, i wonder if we will be able to tell if peanut is a little girly or boy boy.

This year is so full of surprises.

Our little Joy. My sis`s pending wedding. And mom`s major change. I wonder what other surprises God has in store for us ;) I tremble with fear and excitement... aha ha

I have been getting my lazy butt out of the chair. I started doing some yoga and will be starting mummy swimming classes soon. I decided that as long as they do not meditate or go into weird things it should be find to attend it. The stretches are really really good my lower back has started to ache and it really helped. I read that if you seat too long it affects your back too. The one thing that i find difficult not to do is to not seat cross legged. Apparently if you do that you will get veins???? But its so comfy to do that.

Some pregnant mummies are so flexible and i am constantly amazed by the pretzel movements that they can do.

Last Wed, the teacher asked what "Labor" meant to each of us.

I said "Labor" meant "Love" and "Perseverance".

For now that is what it is to me. I think that you need a lot of love and perseverance to go through the most painful time of your life and to focus on the end product, your baby. Besides this Labor is made from love :)

Okay then i shall try to blog more and tell you more. See ya.

* Things that i think baby likes to eat/drink:
-cheese -tomatoes -ice-cream -soy milk n milk -avocado
-root beer -juices (apple n oj) -Singaporean food (esp chicken rice)
-healthy stuff ( nuts, raisins )

(think i will go get some of these things now..haha)



"All things bright and beautiful , all creatures great and small. The Lord,God made them all..."~ To all mummies and mine, Happy Mothers` Day~