You are the Sty in my Eye

Blahhhh are you grossed out yet??? This monstrous growth has been invading my eyelid for 1 and a half weeks already.

Yes i have seen the doctor and he gave me some eye drops but *sigh* it looks more like a cluster of pimples. Think i will go see him again tomorrow.

The humbling thing about have a sty is you do not have to worry about eye makeup (in this city of eye liners and fake eyelashes) and you kinda feel liberated wearing glasses and relaxing your eyes.

Today was the last day of my BSF (bible study fellowship) in japan. I felt rather zannen (melancholy??) I remembered coming to my 1st lesson a little skeptical about the theology part and the daily homework. What i have learnt from the lessons, leaders and fellow ladies have been both humbling and eye opening (no pun intended).

Some of this ladies only have English as their 2nd language and do their homework with bilingual bibles and dictionaries. Today was sharing day and i heard of testimonials that made my eyes fill up with tears.

There was this little petite old lady, Irene that really stood out. She is about Mama`s age, 80 plus and has just started Bsf this year. She was originally from Malaysia and has been married to her japanese husband for many years. She told us that she had nearly gone blind this year and for 3 months she had experience total darkness. Yet she strive on praying , refusing to be gloomy and meditated on the word of God and Hymns. She said now she treasures every day she has and wants to share the Word with her loved ones, especially her grandkids.

This lady is so filled with joy as she said all these and i wondered if i would have the same faith and grace when i am her age :) So often we are so clouded by the endless lists of things that we have/want to do and we really seldom have time to reflect. How blessed i have been to be able to have this 3 years in japan.

There are many times where i wished even dreamt of Singapore, but the strength and wisdom of the many ladies i have met in this bible study will stay with me forever. I really do hope i have a chance to carry on my classes in Singapore. I think they are still doing the book of "Matthew" and will be doing "Moses" next year. God willing. :)

My swimming lessons are going really well too. It really is tougher than i thought. We do butterfly and free style. We even kicked with fins (which i totally enjoyed, felt like a dolphin with a big tummy.)It truly is amazing to see pregnant women in their 30 over weeks with their huge tummy swimming so gracefully. Hopefully i can keep swimming up to term.

I am still amazed at how some of the japanese ladies managed to be 8months and look like they just have a watermelon under their swim suit..haha. It`s difficult to ask too when your japanese is so broken and half the time you are staring at them wondering if your words are coherent or not..haha

Oh well i look forward to my last 2 months in japan and going back to my sunny, happy island. Tons of washing and packing to do. God help me!!

Baby says "kick , kick, punch, punch--hello and see you!!"- so Cute wish i could see the doctor earlier. Have to wait till the 14th to see him.

Tomorrow my mom gets her biopsy results, i am praying that it will be negative and that she will be really and willing to start every thing a new.


"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!"-Matthew 6:22

~May my eyes always look towards you, Oh Lord and may i say each day "It is Well with my Soul".
^^21weeks

The Longest Day of My Life

"Dear Baby In My Belly,

Sorry if Mummy had overdose you with caffeine today ;P

I really could not sleep well last night. Well you know Grandma has, had other operations before but every time it still worries me a little.

Your Grandma, she is so strong and would always make it sound so simple (She was clearing her cupboards when i called her last night). But i know it is her way of distressing.

I feel so blessed that we have family (Grand-god ma and aunty Faye) to help us, cos your Yiyi is not feeling well and cannot cook so well too.

I prayed a lot this morning well you were still sleeping, i actually tried to poke my tummy a little just to wake you to have some company..sorry baby..hee hee. But God really comforted me by showing me the verses " And I am surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20

I really tried to repeat that verse while trying to get your yiyi on the phone just now. I couldn`t seem to get her in the morning or afternoon.

Decided to meet Daddy and aunt Vicky for lunch. Then i went to have coffee with aunt Vicky and may have bore her with all my anxious talk. Still it was nice to have someone to be with.

As we climbed up the hill, it was really nice to feel you moving inside me. Mummy can`t wait to hold you and tell you how much i love you, just as Grandma loves me. And that reminded me of how God has blessed us with you and how HE too will watch over Grandma.

So finally i spoke to Yiyi and Grandma just now. Grandma told me she is started to feel some pain but i know she is very happy that people care for her and that she has finally removed this lumps. We must pray that she will heal well and that the lumps will not have cancer in them.

Yiyi still has fever and a cold, so she too needs our prayers ;) Yiyi needs to relax more and be a beautiful bride in December. I pray that you will be an angel and we can bring you there and not seat at the corner near the exit.haha..i know you will be a good baby. ;)

Okay better go prepare for bible study class and dinner for Daddy. Let`s make char siew today!! Hopefully Daddy will not be home too late.

We love you our little sweetie pie. And God too.

Love,Kisses and Hugs, Mummy Be"


* Dear Friends,
Thanks for praying for my mum, she is now resting at home and will get her results next Thursday ,29th of March. We pray that God will heal her completely and that she will have a good time of reflection this week. May the results be malignant and God `s power be shown to her. Once again thank you for praying with us :) Love Phoebe*


Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yojke is easy and my burden is light."

"Eloi,Eloi, lama sabachthani?"

"Eloi,Eloi, lama sabachthani?"- Which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Mark 15:33-34

We look at the world today and wonder is it a good time to have children? This world where the climate is changing, animals are going extinct, natural disasters are rampant and people are lost.

Looking at the images of China`s earthquake and Myanmar`s situation, i do ask myself, "What if i was that mother that had just seen her dead child?"or "What if i could not even give milk to my baby?" How blessed are we to be clothed in comfort, to have more than enough food. To even be able to enjoy my swimming class today.

Every morning i asked that God will make this day a better day , that the stressed would be taken away for D. And Little Peanut and me will be safe and healthy. I should also start praying for the people in China and Myanmar too, well that`s the least i could do.

I read that Singaporeans are donating to the Red Cross and other org. as well. I do hope that the Myanmar government will allow the aid to go through.

I went to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) on Wed. The speaker spoke to me she said "What do you think of the world now and all the things that are happening around it? Do you live in fear and sadness or are you joyful for the Life that is given to you by Jesus? Remembering that God is in control does help. Having a close relationship with Him daily does help."

Placing my faith in what i believe and knowing that God is in control helps me feel that whatever may come, be it being a parent or for the future. I can trust in Him. I can trust Him to give me the wisdom to share with my child the joys of the world and the sorrows too. One step at a time ;)

My mom will be going for a biopsy next Thursday, 22nd May. Do pray for her too. Thank you.


"We can rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5: 2-5



*For the Children of Quake & Fear :

Am i my Father`s child,
if i`m alone in this suffering?
No bed to rest my head,
no place for a bed.

Am i still wanted,
If i am wandering lost?
No home to call my own,
my friends have left me alone.

Do you still hear me as i cry for shelter?
For someone, anyone
to hold me,
be my comforter?

Can i trust? Have faith?
Would i see the light
through this darkness,
i long so for your embrace.

Fill me, My Father,
lost as i, fearful as i.
I wait for your deliverance and grace.
I wait with faith, little less than a mustard,
yet ever so may it grow to be of abundance.

~Phoebe, 16th May 2008, for the children in china and myanmar. Do pray with me for them~

Is it a boy? Is it a girl?

We really dont know??? I am so very excited about tomorrow, i wonder if we will be able to tell if peanut is a little girly or boy boy.

This year is so full of surprises.

Our little Joy. My sis`s pending wedding. And mom`s major change. I wonder what other surprises God has in store for us ;) I tremble with fear and excitement... aha ha

I have been getting my lazy butt out of the chair. I started doing some yoga and will be starting mummy swimming classes soon. I decided that as long as they do not meditate or go into weird things it should be find to attend it. The stretches are really really good my lower back has started to ache and it really helped. I read that if you seat too long it affects your back too. The one thing that i find difficult not to do is to not seat cross legged. Apparently if you do that you will get veins???? But its so comfy to do that.

Some pregnant mummies are so flexible and i am constantly amazed by the pretzel movements that they can do.

Last Wed, the teacher asked what "Labor" meant to each of us.

I said "Labor" meant "Love" and "Perseverance".

For now that is what it is to me. I think that you need a lot of love and perseverance to go through the most painful time of your life and to focus on the end product, your baby. Besides this Labor is made from love :)

Okay then i shall try to blog more and tell you more. See ya.

* Things that i think baby likes to eat/drink:
-cheese -tomatoes -ice-cream -soy milk n milk -avocado
-root beer -juices (apple n oj) -Singaporean food (esp chicken rice)
-healthy stuff ( nuts, raisins )

(think i will go get some of these things now..haha)



"All things bright and beautiful , all creatures great and small. The Lord,God made them all..."~ To all mummies and mine, Happy Mothers` Day~